Self Pain
by GraceFaceeee
Summary: Izaya breaks, and hard. He starts to cut and is suicidal. Can Shizuo help him or sit back and watch Izaya crumble to pieces? (Not very good with summaries) Yaoi, meaning boy X boy. Don't like don't read. :3 rated M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Hey this is the first chapter of Self Pain. It's short I know, but I'm new and trying to get a feel for Ikr at first and don't worry I'll update if you enjoy it :3. I'm a super Shizaya fan soo...yeah... T.T yeah**

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~ Chapter 1~

Izaya walked down the streets of Ikebukuro, heading towards his home. He was tired from fighting with Shizu-chan and wanted nothing more to just collapse on the bed and sleep.  
He just turned down a street when he heard footsteps following him. They were loud and noticeable and he smirked knowing they couldn't sneak around at all. He turned down a few alleys and then took off running, listening to the person try to catch up. When he deemed it safe he slowed and turned around. No one was there.  
Izaya inwardly smirked as he continued to make his way home. He finally reached it and made his way to his bedroom. He changed into his silk pajamas and climbed into bed. He was so tired he didn't even notice the shadow in the corner staring intensely at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sadly... there is a slight rape in here :'( I'm sorry its part of the story...**

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~Chapter 2~

Izaya fell to sleep the moment his head hit the pillow. He was enjoying his dreams of him and his love, Shizu-chan, when he suddenly felt a pressure on his chest. Every time he breathed out the pressure increased and he couldn't suck in air. He tried his best but no air made its way to his lungs. He thrashed around and the pressure subsided. He gulped in oxygen and his eyes shot open to see people holding him down and one sitting on his chest.  
"What the hell is going on!?" Izaya screamed. They remained silent as he flailed around but the grips only tightened. He inwardly winced, not wanting to show them that their tactic was working.  
"Let me go or I'll fucking kill you!" He growled still trying to break free. "I don't think you have any room to talk Izaya~. We're the ones holding down you." The man on his chest whispered which gave Izaya chills. He leaned down and bit Izaya hard on his neck.  
"H-Hey! What the fuck are you doing!?" He screamed as he felt a cold pair of hands slide up his shirt. He cringed as the mans lips were suddenly on his. Izaya bit hard and the man quickly pulled away, blood dripping down his chin.  
"You fucking little bitch! Now you're going to get it! Get him on his knees!" He yelled as the other men yanked him off his bed and on the floor. His arms were pulled painfully behind his back as he struggled to get free.  
Izaya's face was roughly pulled up to see the mans erection right in his face. He tried to pull away but the man forced his mouth open and around his cock. Izaya paled as the man just fucked his mouth. After a few minutes he came and covered Izaya's mouth with his hand, forcing him to swallow. He reluctantly did but started gagging and trying to force it back up. They all just laughed and beat and kicked him while his guard was down.  
"Bye sweet Izaya! Thanks for the blowjob!" The man yelled as they let themselves out of the apartment.  
Izaya ran to the bathroom, despite his injuries, and made himself throw up three times. When he was satisfied, he sat back to catch his breath.  
He sat up to see one of his switchblades sitting on the counter. He contemplated for a moment and grabbed it quickly. He slowly cut a line into his arm, relishing in the sting of pain.  
He stopped and looked down, unaware that he had done that. He was shocked to find he had stooped as low as his humans. There in the bathroom, after so many years, is where Izaya did the unthinkable. He cried. He cried and cut again, and again, and again. And in that very bathroom he did something he's never done before.  
He broke.  
His mind broke and he wasn't at the top anymore. He was deep down in the muddy dirt where he sat and cried and cried and cried.


End file.
